Find parts one and two HERE
Our nurse was still having a hard time finding the baby’s heart rate on the monitor. I heard her calling for backup and figured out that they had to put a scalp monitor on the baby. Things start to get really jumbled for me here. People started piling into the room, an OB was called. I would be writhing on my back and then they would suddenly have me flip as fast as I could onto my side, then the other, back and forth. I could tell that something was really wrong but the gas kept me in somewhat calm, with my eyes squeezed shut. The OB arrived (First time: I opened my eyes to see his face) and checked me, he said there was a little bit of cervix left, my midwife arrived as I started to feel the urge to push. I yelled “I wanna push!” asking if I could and both the midwife and doula urged me to. I beared down and the relief I felt was amazing. I desperately hoped I could push the baby out myself. At some point they put a catheter in to drain my bladder. The baby’s heart rate was very low and they started to talk about forceps and booking an OR. I got a needle for some freezing to prepare for a forcep delivery. Baby’s heart rate dipped again and suddenly we were rushing to the OR. By this time I had been out of the shower for maybe 20 minutes or less. Someone draped a sheet over my exposed lower half as we rushed out the door. I could hear our nurse yell, “Can we go faster?!” and felt them speeding up, running down the hall, crashing into doorways and yelling for people to get out of the way. We reached the OR wing and they told Andrew he couldn’t come with me. He was horrified and I remember calling out to him saying it would be ok (Second time: I opened my eyes to look back at him). He said, “I love you.” I said “I love you more.” And they wheeled me through the doors.
I only opened my eyes for a split second in the operating room (Third time). It was cold and bright and there were a lot of people. They gave me another couple chances to push and tried the forceps to no avail. They frantically prepped me for surgery. I felt them squirting disinfectant on my stomach as they strapped my arms down. My legs were bent and they told me I had to flatten them but it hurt too much. I knew there wasn’t time for an epidural and no one had said how they were going to numb me so I was literally worried they were just going to cut me open wide awake. I was asking if I would feel the surgery while nurses tried forcing my legs straight. Someone put a mask over my mouth and nose and said I would be asleep in a few seconds. I realized then that they were going to put me under and I managed to flatten my legs at the last second. That’s the last thing I remember before waking up.
I don’t know how much time passed before I woke up but I was alone and disoriented laying flat on my back in a bed in a small room with bright halogen lights. I was very warm under my blankets but there was a sharp ache in my lower abdomen. The fact that I had just had a baby didn’t cross my mind for a few minutes. An older Australian nurse walked in. I asked: “Where’s Andrew?” She replied: “He’s with your son.” “It’s a boy?” I squeaked.
I waited for a while before I saw anyone else. The nurse was checking me and warning me that I would need and x-ray soon but they would let me meet the baby first. Eventually my midwife arrived wheeling a bassinet. She was followed by Andrew and maybe the doula, I can’t even remember if she was there at that point. I smiled at Andrew and felt my emotions starting to build up. I had felt pretty numb since waking up. I saw our midwife unwrapping a pale green towel and out of it she lifted a pink, scrawny little baby. My heart was pounding, my face got warm and I felt tears in my eyes and my throat tightening as she brought him toward me. The moment lasted forever and then all of the sudden, there he was; warm and naked on my chest. All of my pain disappeared. I was so instantly happy and in love and I understood why all those crazy people do this two or three or five times! I whispered “Hi Lachlan.” And “I love you.” I hugged him close to me and took in his sweet smell while kissing his fuzzy little head. It was not the moment I had been planning for, but it was the best moment of my life…And then he pooped on me.
Skin-to-skin with Daddy while I was still in recovery
First family photo, taken on our third day in the hospital. This is the first time I held Lachlan while out of bed.
I was finally able to see him in the full daylight next to the window. <3
Lachlan Jude Gillott
Born via emergency c-section at 6:54pm on Sunday March 24th, 2013
6lbs 3oz and 20 inches of perfection